KCI The Anti_Meth Site

How do you talk to your Meth Addict?

chick peakiwi	how do you talk to your meth addict? I was talking to my ex-addict b/f today. He kept saying that he couldn't see how talking to a counselor would help him get over all the bad & hurt he has experienced in his life due to his meth use. He says he cant get over all the losses in his life me being one of them. The fact that he thinks he can just stay clean because he now realizes why he had F**ked his life is because of his use is enough to keep him away from it NOW. Is this still denial talk..to avoid his addiction...sounds like it? So how would you answer this question?
Replies...
TnSkye	Re: how do you talk to your meth addict? For the most part, just knowing how bad they've messed up does not keep them clean. They need tools to know how to avoid and deal with triggers. My husband used all kinds of excuses to avoid dealing with his addiction too. He did finally talk to a counselor but called it off before long because he hadn't learned where his anger came from. DUH. I didn't wait for my husband to seek treatment though. I set out seeking my own recovery for myself. Then, instead of waiting on him to make decisions, I was able to make my own.
Penelope	Re: how do you talk to your meth addict? Talk to him like you would talk to anyone else - say what you mean, and mean what you say. Don't be manipulated - would you take that from a non - addict? Just knowing how bad I messed up was more of an excuse for me to use. In my head, there was no way out of the mess I made of my life anyway, so why NOT keep using? I had to figure it out myself - my life sucked because of my addiction. People suggested to me that I needed help, and that was OK - in hindsite, I should have listened to them. Unfortunately, nagging didn't work, enabling didn't work, nothing worked until I realized it for myself. There is nothing wrong with suggesting to an addict "YOU need some help..." just don't be too dissappointed if he doesn't take your advice.
nano banano	Re: how do you talk to your meth addict? How do you talk to an addict? Wow! That's a good question....from my experience you don't and you can't! Unless you enjoy having one sided conversations with a narrow minded WALL!!!! LOL I get more rational responses talking to my cats.....and we all know how they do whatever they want whenever they please!! Good luck honey! Wish I had answers for you! Luv and hugs sent your way!
XOutlaw Woman	Re: how do you talk to your meth addict? The more you push, the further away he will go. Let it go and let him figure it out. Sometimes we are the only ones who can help ourselves.
chick peakiwi	Re: how do you talk to your meth addict? Interesting what you have all said. I understand about the nagging. He told me the more I go on about his problem it is like the further away he feels (from me). You cant win alright. Narrow-minded is so true. Still feel like I'm talking to a brickwall. I can tell that he is saying things to me that I WANT to hear. I mean he is trying to get back in my good books. He has told me straight up, give me another chance several times. Im sure many here have heard that one before. I am leaving him to his own devices, so hard setting boundaries though, I dont want to seem like I've abandoned him, I mean he's still got a little of the old him in there. I really dont know how to talk to him so I dont give him false hope of us getting back together. He asks what he should do now. I say YOU decide what is best for you, I cant tell you what to do with your life now. He says I need a definate otherwise I could be wasting my time improving my life, with no guarantee that I will take him back...does this sound familiar to anybody ? He even said to me that he can do it (quit cold turkey) because he is "brighter" than other addicts he knows. Oh lordy. Now I've heard it all.
sick and tired77	Re: how do you talk to your meth addict? The best advice I can give you (if you choose to say anything) is to tell him that he has to do it for himself. Basically what you've already been telling him! If he feels like it's a waste of time unless you'll take him back, then he's certainly not seeing the big picture. Something has to "click" for him to realize quitting will make HIS life better... not YOURS. It IS hard to set boundaries when we love them. But it'll be well worth it in the long run! I know I'm telling you things you already know... it's been a long day, sorry if I'm rambling! Hang in there, sweetie!